🦇 THE SPLATTER VORTEX 🦇

Two carefree, all-American teenagers, Mari and Phyllis, are on their way to a concert. Unfortunately for them, they run into escaped killer Krug and his band of misfit psychos. What unfolds is a sick tapestry of torture, rape, and eventually, bloody revenge by the hands of Mari's own parents!

The legendary Wes Craven made one HELL of a debut with this grindhouse shocker! Crude, nasty, and mean-spirited, this film proudly pisses in the face of decency and I adore its attitude. In my opinion, it remains Craven's most effective work. Sure, it lacks the slick meta fun of "Scream", nor is it as groundbreaking as "A Nightmare on Elm Street", but this beast is like a dirty drillbit that gleefully tears through your brain and stays there.

Much like Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" a couple years later, "Last House on the Left" is a stillborn bastard child of the turbulent times in which it was spawned. By 1972, peace n' love optimism spread by the hippies had given way to a bleak outlook streaked in innocent blood. This film takes that dichotomy and emphasizes it to the highest degree. Despite the catharsis of revenge that happens in the third act, there is no redemption here. There is no hope for something better. There is only a cycle of violence leading to more violence - endless blood and suffering.

I think what sets this film apart from Craven's other works, apart from its snuff film style, is that it makes a statement. It doesn't preach, it just shows. It lets the violence happen without pretense or meditation. To contrast the grim and gritty brutality, the film is punctuated with a bizarre, upbeat, hippie-folk soundtrack. We also get a subplot involving two bumbling cops trying, and failing, to save the day. It's jarring. It doesn't fit. And that's exactly the point. It only makes the horrific things we watch Mari and Phyllis endure all the more shocking.

Any gripes? Slightly. Mari's parents are painfully boring and underdeveloped. It's hard to truly feel for them and their quest for vengeance. Perhaps some better dialogue or an extra scene or two with them would have helped matters. Or, more likely, the actors just sucked.

I believe "Last House" was a necessary film for its time and place. It's where innocence goes to die an awful death, where terrible people meet their end only after causing irreparable harm, where rape and murder happen to the soothing sounds of an acoustic guitar. It's outlaw horror at its finest, best watched on a worn-out VHS tape in a cold basement in the middle of the night during a manic-depressive episode. A true masterpiece!

Sandra Cassel and Lucy Grantham come across as authentic and grounded in their respective roles of Mari and Phyllis. Their fear and pain seem eerily genuine - great job! But the real stars of the show are the villains. David Hess is devilishly captivating as the leader, Krug. He's scary yet charming. Fred Lincoln turns in a real sleazeball performance as Weasel, Jeramie Rain's Sadie is a savage bitch with hell in her eyes, and then there's Marc Sheffler as Junior, Krug's heroin-addicted son, who is the only sympathetic member of the group. Cynthia Carr and Gaylord St. James, who play Mr. and Mrs. Collingwood, are...well...they're there. They're almost non-entities compared to the rest of the ensemble.

It's interesting to witness the genesis of Craven's creativity. I liked seeing the use of booby traps, which Wes would later use in films like "Nightmare on Elm Street" and "The Hills Have Eyes". The film is shot in an up-close-and-personal style, tight and reminiscent of some fucked up documentary. The directing is raw and uncompromising. It feels imperfect, maybe not intentionally so, but I think it works for the film's benefit. Besides, it's the man's first movie!

Oh damn, what a whacko score this movie has! It's absolutely brilliant. Crafted by Stephen Chapin and Krug himself, David Hess, this soundtrack has elements of bluegrass and folk. "Wait for the Rain" is a beautifully ethereal trip. The "Ice Cream Song" is a short explosion of flower power euphoria. Then you've got the villains' theme song - a hilarious, way-too-upbeat ditty featuring a kazoo solo! How many other rape-revenge movies can you think of that feature a goddamn kazoo in the soundtrack!? I love this score so much that it proudly sits in my vinyl collection.

First time viewers will be surprised by the lack of explicit gore on display here. There's loads of violence, but the majority of it is implied rather than shown. We get some blood, some stabbing, a slashed throat, a severed arm, exposed intestines...but, overall, this movie leaves quite a bit to the imagination. The dream sequence involving teeth and a chisel and hammer has not one drop of blood, but still manages to make me squirm. Now that is impressive!

"The Last House on the Left" is the blood on the violated body of psychedelia as it lies in the woods slowly dying to the songs of birds. Brisk, oddly hypnotic, unflinchingly brutal - mixed with wonderful performances by the leads and a bonkers soundtrack - this film is just shy of perfection in my eyes. Had Mari's parents been given some more substance, I would easily rate this one a perfect four UFOs. If you've never seen it, give it a watch when you can. If you've seen it before, hell...watch it tonight!